Chambermaid
by TheBeautyOfTheGrave
Summary: 12/50 of the 50Shuffle Challenge. “Either you help me clean this place up...” Remus began, crossing the distance between them and brushing Sirius’ chin with the duster, “or no more being dirty for the duration of the holidays.” Siremus. Not compatible.


**A/N: 12 out of 50 of the 50Shuffle Challenge. I'll get there one day xD This is 'Chambermaid' by the glorious Emilie Autumn. Hehe, tis just a bit of fun really... :P**

Sirius sighed idly as he kicked an empty can of drink under his tousled bed. A clang resonated through the dry walls of the Boy's Dormitory as it hit the other 20 or so finished-with tins that he had stashed between the two sides of the overflowing sheets.

With the help of the caffeine now flowing through his veins, he lifted himself from the trunk opposite his four-poster -- which happened to belong to his werewolf turned lover, Remus Lupin -- and threw open his drawer in the corner. A silent yawn stole a few moments of his time as he searched for his clean underwear, hidden somewhere within the depths of unfolded clothes and yet more cans of fizzy energy.

As he continued his hunt, the door opened and he smiled as his eyes met Remus'. Being the holidays, they were the only two Gryffindors left in their year and thus, much to their delight, they had the room to themselves.

This however caused Sirius to feel as though he could treat it like a hotel, dispensing of his rubbish wherever he so pleased and throwing his clothes down on any empty surface -- a luxury they were now lacking severely.

"I got us some toast and jam from the kitchens." Remus smiled as he set the plates down on the floor before using his wand to open the curtains and allow the morning light to seep into the Dorm.

"Dear Merlin..." he exclaimed as he was faced, now in acceptable light, with the dishevelled state of the space around him.

Sirius being Sirius felt that the two of them being left relatively to their own devices for 3 weeks was cause for immediate celebration, meaning of course that they had spent the weekend having their own 'party' in the dark. Now that the curtains could once again be opened without fear of giving any passing owl a heart attack or rendering the poor creature blind, Remus was shocked to see the chaos they had caused.

"What?" Sirius asked; a slight exclamation of joy followed as he discovered his clean clothes and slipped quickly and nimbly into them.

"This room... it's a tip!" The sheer outrage in Remus' voice caused Sirius to chuckle loudly, that is until a stern, albeit sexy, look from his boyfriend silenced him.

"Well... it _is _the holidays Remy. And it's only us two here," he crossed the room and knelt down to Remus' height before cupping his chin in his hands, "remember?"

"Yes..." Remus stated, allowing Sirius to kiss him only once before standing and pacing the length of the room, "...yes I remember. But I can't live like this for another two weeks! I mean honestly, how am I supposed to concentrate on my work in this dump?"

"Well," Sirius joined his boyfriend and snaked his hands around his hips, "the Common Room and the Library are for work. The Dormitory," he said, placing a brazen kiss on the lips he dreamed of each night, "is for play."

Remus smiled for a second before groaning and, rather reluctantly, pushing Sirius off him.

"Can we please just tidy this up?"

The pleading look in Remy's eyes was one that Sirius was accustomed to seeing, though usually in different circumstances, and Remus knew damn well that he couldn't resist it.

"Fine, we'll clean it. But only after eating."

Remus smiled and sat on the floor opposite the animagus. They ate quickly and in relative silence, as they usually did when breakfast was before them. Once finished, Sirius stood up to go to the bathroom, but was stopped when Remus cleared his throat. He indicated to the plates, causing Sirius to roll his eyes and pick up the dishes, stacking them on the side to be taken out later.

When he returned from the bathroom, Remus had already begun the clean up and was currently bent over his trunk. Sirius smiled to himself and perched on the chest of drawers to enjoy the view. After a good 3 minutes, Remus surfaced and turned around, a questioning look on his face.

"What were you looking at?" he asked.

"Oh, something fabulous."

Remus smiled and poked his tongue out coyly. "Come on then, help me."

"Actually, I think I'd rather watch."

Remus put down the cloth that he had seconds earlier apparated from thin air and crossed his arms. "You _will _help me." he demanded.

"Ah... the return of strict Remus. I like it."

"I'm serious."

Sirius lowered his chin slightly and opened his eyes wide in his renowned 'puppy dog' face. He whimpered slightly and looked pleadingly at the boy opposite him, now with a feather duster in his hands.

"Either you help me clean this place up..." he began, crossing the distance between them and brushing Sirius' chin with the duster, "or no more being _dirty _for the duration of the holidays."

Immediately the whimpering stopped and shock flashed across Sirius' eyes. "You're... you're kidding right?"

"Do I look like I'm kidding, Sirius Black?"

Remus had used his full name and he knew better than to argue with him when he did such a thing.

"Fine -- I'll help."

Remus smirked and removed the duster from beneath the other boys chin.

As Sirius bent down to retrieve the rubbish from under his bed, Remus placed himself atop the windowsill in a similar position to the one Sirius had held before.

"Aren't you going to help?" Sirius asked.

Remus raised an eyebrow and folded his arms again.

"Fine, fine." Sirius concluded before getting back to work. "But I'm not a chambermaid you know!"

Remus simply laughed. Then an idea occurred to him. Silently, he apparated something into the room and walked up to Sirius. Quickly, without giving the boy a chance to protest, he wrapped the maid's apron around his waist and tied a magical knot, a knot which only he could undo.

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me!" he yelled as he tugged at the silky material.

"Continue." he said as Sirius carried on glaring at him. "I'll make it worth your while..."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "I know all your tricks by now Remy. You can't make me do anything."

"Oh?" He stood and pressed his lips to Sirius' ear, whispering something incoherently. It caused Sirius' hair to stand on end and he allowed a few seconds for his imagination to go wild, before quickly racing around the room tidying anything that was out of place.

Remus observed him with great amusement for a few minutes before seating himself on his bed and relishing in the glory of his plan. _Worked like a charm... _


End file.
